by Bee MotherlyWe know that motherhood is full of moments that make you out of breath – some with overwhelming joy, others with a heartbreak. And sometimes life brings both at the same time.
That is exactly what happened to Elissa Danielle West, who noticed that she delivered her own grandson in a car on the same day that she lost her mother.
The story, for the first time reported by WPVI-TV PhiladelphiaIs the kind that stays with you – a memory of the way love, loss and life are deeply intertwined.
And I get it. These kinds of stories remind me of my own experience – when I was pregnant with my first baby, my grandmother died of a great stroke. After eight months pregnant, I was sitting next to her hospital bed and held her hand, knowing that she would not meet my son. I thanked her for everything she had done for our family, even when I prepared myself to board motherhood. It was one of the most moving moments of my life – the realization that although one chapter closed, another was about to start.
A birth that would not wait
For Elissa and her daughter, Alysa West, the shift from sadness to new life suddenly came.
On February 25, Alysa and her mother sat in her grandmother’s house in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, when she suddenly felt a contraction.
“We jumped in the car, drove halfway through the street and she started screaming:” Mom, my water just broke, “Elissa recalled.
They were planning to go to Cooper Hospital in Camden, but Baby Noah had other ideas. Elissa realized that they would not make it and stopped in a parking lot at Route 70 and Kingston Drive. She called 911, but within a few moments she noticed that she delivered her own grandson with her own hands.
“I jumped out of the car. 911 says, “Do you see something?” I said, “Yes, I can see my head.” Within a few seconds the top of the baby’s head dived out and a few seconds later I just said: “Give me a little push,” and he came. And I caught him. “
Only a few hours after learning the death of her own mother, Elissa was the first person to hold her grandson.
Elissa may have delivered Noah herself, but she and Alysa credit the rapid reaction of the paramedics of Virtua Health and Cherry Hill because they made sure that both mother and baby were safe.
Sadness, gratitude and meaning of Noah
The timing of the birth of Noah-Slechts a few hours after the death of his great-grandmother is just more than a coincidence.
“It was very sad about my mother, but I think this baby was sent as a distraction because he certainly distracted us from our day. He is beautiful, “said Elissa.
Alysa called him Noah, which means comfort.
“When he came out, he was just so calm, and he was really so comforting and calming that we needed as a family, and we can heal,” she said.
Perhaps the most hair -raising part? The expiration date of Noah was originally March 8th that the funeral of his great-grandmother will now take place.
Related: How to help children and their emotions during enormous changes in life – such as moving, divorce or death
The science behind these moments
The way in which sadness and joy collide in families is not just something feeling– It is something that researchers have studied for years.
A study published in Midwife Examined the experiences of children born after a loss of babies in the family. The findings showed that these following children often felt cherished and special and understand their unique place in the family story. They acknowledged the earlier grief of their parents, but saw it as improving family ties instead of compromising their own upbringing.
In addition, research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology It was demonstrated that individuals are able to experience mixed emotions, such as happiness and sorrow, at the same time. Sadness and gratitude are not contradictions – they often walk hand in hand and help us process the past while we embrace the future.
And research in Omega: Journal of Death and Dying suggests that losing a parent can influence the decisions of a person about founding a family. The research showed that people who experienced the death of a parent during their reproductive years had an increased chance of having children shortly after the loss. Some people feel an almost instinctive attraction for a new life after experiencing death, looking for continuity in the light of loss.
Science can help explain why Noah’s arrival felt like something bigger than timing. But in the end is what the West family knows: love, in all its forms, never really leaves us.
Related: An invitation to the robbed Parents Club
Love never really leaves
For the West family, the birth of Noah was not just about welcome a new baby – it was about finding light in the midst of deep sorrow.
Elissa knows that her mother will not be there to hold her great -grandson, but she also knows that she is in every way that matters.
“My mother loved to hold babies, and unfortunately she will not hold them, but she is there,” she said.
And that’s the thing about love – it doesn’t end. There are just new forms.
Related: How you can help your child deal with the death of a loved one
Sources:
- Research investigates pregnancy after perinatal loss. Midwifery Journal. 2010. “Born after losing children: the experiences of later children“
- Studies show that sadness and joy coexist. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2001. ‘Can people feel happy and sad at the same time?”
- Losing a parent can influence family planning. Omega – Journal of Death and Dying. 2018. ‘Death is not the end: a registration -based study of the effect of parental death on the fruitful behavior of adult children in Sweden“
